In a 10-20 Hold’em game at the MGM Hotel, a drunk was begining to get out of hand.
“Well that was one pussy-pink river card from you dealer!” he bellowed after missing a flush.
The dealer beheld the drunk gravely; “Sir, there is a young lady at the table. If you don’t control your language, you will have to leave.”
On the next hand, the drunk doesn’t improve his set on the flop and looses to a straight. “Jesus Christ! Why don’t you just light my fucking wallet on fire pinhead!”
The dealer was absolutely at his limit; “Sir, I’m telling you for the last time; there is a young lady at the table! Control your language or you will be escorted out of here!”
On the following hand, every player in the game wades into the pot. There are raises and caps on every card. In the end, the drunk sucks out an inside straight and wins the 10-20 pot of the month. The drunk looks out over his pile of chips at the dealer and asks, “Do you boys pool your tips togeather or do you keep them for yourselves?”
The dealer replies “All dealers here keep their own tips.”
The drunk tosses two green chips at the dealer and says with a grin; “Well have a Goddamn toke on me, motherfucker.”
The dealer picks up the $50, turns to the young woman and says, “Miss, I’m afraid you’ll have to leave the table.”

Submitted by David Pitts

Tags: funny stories, jokes